ISLAND SLANG

Slang is a part of the American setting. We can’t escape it. I don’t like it, but every part of the country I have been to and that is “All” of them, has their own slang. The word “Booger” just doesn’t mean the same thing in New York City as it does here.

We have our own slang here on the Redneck Riviera as well. Over the years I have learned, added to and selected our Island Slang. It is well known by my island friends, but we all need to learn it as it is sometimes used on “main landers” and other such folks.

Our Slang language refers many types of people. Here is a list of the words you need to learn to be able to communicate with others here on “da Beach”.

BLAME BURSTERS: These are people that react to every problem we have with “blame shifting”, shifting responsibility to someone else and never take any themselves. You will find them in government a lot. They are like cloud bursts of acid rain on us all.

SEA GULL’S: A sea gull is a person that flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves. They are in all bars, usually have red noses, have not read a newspaper in years and have opinion on everything.

ASSLANDERS: This is self-explanatory. They come from everywhere at all times.

CUBER: This is a person that spends the entire work day in a cubical, then comes to the island to relax and doesn’t know how to. They can usually be seen with milk white legs and socks on with their thong sandals. Cuber is not a redneck trying to say Cuba!

PRAIRIE DOGS: These are the people you see popping their heads up from bars and around corners when Bubba slaps somebody upside the head for using bad language in front of his woman. They will scatter easily and have a lot of hair on their bodies.

STRESS GUPPY: This is a person that seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. Many of them get drunk on one beer and have enjoyed poor health for most of their lives.

ADULT DAY CARE PEOPLE: These people can be found in the bar parking lots at ten AM waiting for the bars to open. They have no life and if we didn’t have the bars, they would all be in nursing homes. They also smell like stale beer and cigarettes, 24-7!!

SAND SEEKERS: These people are always looking for whiter sand. You can hear them say things like “That sand is not as white as the sand in the Sugar Bowl”, or “Why is the sand not white today? As if it has ever mattered. They also smoke milkweed and many are vegetarians.

WATER WANTERS: A Water Wanter is a person that is landlocked in the middle of the island and spends their entire life trying to get “on the water”, instead of being happy and walking 300 steps to either side of the island and being in the water! Many of them wear horn rimmed glasses and eat seaweed on their salads.

SHELLERS: These are Tourons, a mix between Tourist and Moron, that come to go “shelling”. They walk the beach with heads bent, stick and net in hand hoping for that one shell that they can frame or a lot of broken ones that always end up on the back of the bathroom commode. They are lost souls that have not had intimate relations for years and buy a lot of Adult toys.

DRIFT WOODERS: now these people are a hoot. They can see things like a whale, Abe Lincoln, or a space ship in a piece of driftwood. They spend all month looking for a piece of driftwood that they can put next to their swimming pool at home and then wonder where all the bugs are coming from. They also have plastic flamingos in their yards and change their own oil in their cars.

CHICKEN NECKERS: these people can be seen on the pier with crab nets with chicken necks tied inside of them hoping to catch a crab. Some are all very white, some are yellow, and a few are dark tanned to complete black, but all of them have no idea of what they are doing and look stupid drowning chicken parts. They are not smart enough to fish, so they go for the bottom feeders with a net and a chicken neck. They are all from someplace else and have never eaten a fried chicken neck in their lives.

“Local’s” are people that have the courage to live here all the time, “Turon’s” come to smell the salt air for a week or two and “Part timers” are people that have a house or condo here but live some place else. Bless their hearts, each and every one !

Just thought you’d like to know……………..

“Bubba's Rules for The New Year”


To All Women:

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. It’s not important, it’s just a reason to complain!

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be. Learn the “infield fly rule”; it will simplify your life, really!

1. If someone dear to us is not dead or you are not bleeding, Crying is blackmail. Always, no exceptions!

1. Tell us what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We want to please you, we really do!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. If you need more of an answer, tell us, we don't know, and think we have answered the question fully.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for; wives are for sharing and being totally honest with. Expect action!

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor, or a sex therapist, either way….. get rid of it or learn to ignore it.

1. Anything we said 6 days ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 6 days. Things change and so we. Flexibility is the key to honesty!

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. You come to bed in a pair of soccer shorts and a flannel top; don't expect sex to be the best, just quick!

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. It's a question that is totally unfair to ask anyone, but your mother or your best girlfriend.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Do you see what we are saying here?

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. We don't mind being told to do something, as long as it's not it in front of our mamma or a fellow Bubba.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. This is a great time to talk, have fun or even sex, if it's an info-mercial.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. He didn't know where he was going, he didn't know where he was when he got there, and I didn't know where he had been when he got back. He was a true Bubba and a man for the ages. If you must give directions, include a map.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. We know what color the rainbow is, but don't want a flag to fly, we'll leave that for the queer folks.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. It's satisfying, just be glad we don't lick ourselves.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. If you say, "you know", then we are really in trouble, because we DON'T know, never have and never will, so TELL us what is wrong!

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. We don't do "rhetorical questions", we make statements, it's easier to understand and unless it involves sex we won’t answer anyway!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or NASCAR. Face it, sometimes we are NOT thinking about you. When we are thinking about you, we will use our hands more!

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. Your shape is fine with me as longs as it makes you happy!

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping, without the tent and having to use leaves in a creative way!


J. Terryl "T. Bubba" Bechtol, CSP
Comedian-Humorist
1-800-BE-BUBBA
January 3rd, 1995

Thank to you all for listening to our morning radio show. We are now #1 in our market and it's just getting better. I am happy to say that it has not hurt my touring with my show and things are good. You can email the show at www.newsradio1620.com, my email is tbubba@newsradio1620.com and Tarsha is tarsha@newsradio1620.com. You can also listen to us on the streaming audio from the website on your computer every morning from 6 to 9 AM.

It is just one more step in my comedy career and thank you for being a part of it.

T. Bubba Bechtol

Hey...do you know how to get an Auburn fan to vote against Sen. Obama?

Just put a G in the front of his name....

Donchajusluvit????

I once heard Secretary of State Madeleine Albright say, "There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women"...Hey Madeleine, Where are all the liberal women coming to the aid of Sarah Palin, now that she has been named VP for the Republicans? They man not agree with her on political standings, but they do have the moral obligation to defend Palin from such sexist attacks as she is undergoing. Or is that just the "other women"?

I'm just Bubba, but I want to know...

Me and Lishous are in St. Paul with the GOP National Convention...Listen up and watch for me on TV with some comedy reactions for Fox News...they treat me here and appreciate the fact that I am the President of THE BUBBA'S OF AMERICA AND HAVE SAID THAT "BUBBA IS A REPUBLICAN"....

T. BUBBA BECHTOL

Hey Y'all,

Me and Lishous are in St. Paul, MN covering the GOP Convention. We are in the Fox News Nerve center with complete Radio Pass and doing our morning show on News Radio 1620 every morning from 5:30 to 9 Am, CT. You can listen in on www.newsradio1620.com, with the streaming audio. It's a hoot...saw a Butter Carving contest yesterday, and the Chruch Bottom Ladies really rocked the place. Nice City, clean and Lars and Lena say hello.

T. Bubba Bechtol

The writer of this essay is Jerry Molen. Jerry is a great friend and an Academy Award winning Hollywood Producer. He did Jurassic Park, Hook, Rainman, and many more class movies. He won the Academy Award for Schindler's List. Jerry is one of the very few clear thinking conservatives that I know from Hollywood. We need to get this out to as many as possible to include liberal Democrats. We are about to make the Mother-of-All-Mistakes, because the Republican Party gave us no reliable alternative. In my opinion, if the conservative movement does not rally behind the only alternative left to us, this country will become a true Socialist State within the next two Presidential terms. Ladies and Gentleman, this is the most grave situation this nation has faced in my lifetime.

Jim Cash B/G, USAF, Ret.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jerry Molen wrote:


'Election woes defined by prose.....'



We just experienced an overhyped, positively outrageous primary election season that has left me cold and wondering where the heads of our citizens are hiding out. Must be someplace where the sun doesn't get to very often.

At one time in my life I was a determined, dedicated and ever loyal registered Democrat. Then something happened (Lyndon Baines Johnson) that turned my life around and gave me much pause as to the veracity of a party that dwelt on and fed off of the most unfortunate among us. Some of those unfortunates were in their positions in life by way of their own choosing and others were there by circumstance. But always, always with a door open to them to reach for new heights, achieve new goals, change their lives for the better. And also, always ever present were the bottom feeders doing everything they could to take advantage of those who had not or have not seen the light of better days and times nor realizing they were in fact the masters of their own destiny. They had come to believe that they were dependent on those in power in Washington and that they would look out for them and take care of their every need. They are still waiting and expecting al those promised freebies.

Most people aren't even aware that the Democrats ruled Washington for over 40 years. It wasn't until 1994 when the so called Gingrich Revolution changed that for a short period of time. Nor do people realize that it was the Dem's that created the failed policies of the many entitlement programs that are falling apart right before our eyes. Please do not think I find the Republicans blameless in all this. They too, suffer from ego inflation and greed motivators built into the system. It's just that the past few months I've listened to the rantings and railings of the left in America calling for more giveaways and better ways to obtain the proverbial 'free lunch'.

I think that to sum up my feelings and why I am so set apart from those within the circles of political power and influence can be illustrated best by a quote by noted basketball legend and talk show co-host Charles Barkley:

'Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last fifty years....and they are still poor'.

And now with the election results comes the promises of 'change'. 'Change we can believe in.' 'Change for the future'. When in fact if you really, I mean REALLY listen to what the new messiah is asking for is not 'change of policy' or 'change for the better'. He is warning all of us that he wants our change all right, 'loose change', pocket change', social change and political change......So people wake up. For if you don't the change you get may not be the change you were expecting or the change you wanted.

To close my screed, I want to leave you with some JM predictions in the event the junior Senator from Illinois becomes President and especially if the House and Senate are veto proof.

1). Strict new gun laws will be enacted even though he promised he would not.
2). The phrase 'In God We Trust' will be removed from all currency.
3). He will back away from his pledge to Israel and leave them to the wolves of Islam.
4). Hillary Clinton will be named to the Supreme Court.
5). Tax rates will return to their highest levels in 30 years.
6). The capital gains tax will be at least double current levels.
7). Retired Army General Wesley Clark will be named Secretary of Defense.
8). The borders will be 'basically open' to all comers. Especially those from the Middle East and South America.
9). Amnesty will be granted to all illegals now in the U.S regardless of status or even gang members (MS-13). and
10). The war in Iraq will be brought to an abrupt end and the results will be tragic and the consequences to our military will be devastating.

I realize that my predictions may not sit too well with some people and the best we could all hope for is that I am totally wrong. Any bets?

Jerry Molen

MY LONG TIME MANAGER MR. MILES BELL OF NASHVILLE DIED A FEW DAYS AGO. HIS CELEBRATION OF LIFE WILL BE HELD MAY 10TH AT THE OPRYLAND HOTEL. HE WAS MY FRIEND, MY MENTOR AND MY MANAGER. HE TOOK GREAT JOY IN OTHER PEOPLE'S SUCCESS. HE WAS AN UNUSUAL MAN IN THAT RESPECT. HE WILL BE MISSED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, NOT JUST MY CAREER. MILES, WE KNEW YE WELL, REST IN PEACE.

I DO NOT HAVE ANY PLANS AS OF YET FOR A NEW MANAGER. I HAVE HAD CALLS, BUT I'M GOING TO LET SOME TIME PASS BEFORE I RENAME A PERSONAL MANAGER. PLEASE CALL ME DIRECT AT 850-932-3162 IF YOU NEED ME FOR ANYTHING.

Hey Y'all,

It's 2008 and it began right with my appearing on the Grand Ole Opry the last weekend of 2007.
You can listen to me and 'Lishous on the web at www.newsradio1620.com every morning from five am CST, to nine am Monday to Friday's. It is "Bubba's view" of the world news and local happenings. It's fun and we'll help you get your day off to a good start....just go there and click on the "listen to News Radio 1620" icon and listen on your computers where every you are in the world.

I have a full schedule on tap for this year so just keep looking at the website for the dates that may be near you. The radio show is not keeping me from my touring at all as Tarsha, aka 'Lishous, my wife does it when I'm on the road. It gave me a chance to do something with her and the show is great.

So, watch for me on the Grand Ole Opry, T.V., and now the radio.

Your own personal Bubba!

T. Bubba Bechtol

The”Mouth of Mississippi”



A very short Bio of J. Terryl Bechtol





J. Terryl Bechtol was born on May 1st, 1945 in Biloxi, Miss. His mother the former, Winona Walker of Ocean Springs was the daughter of the Rev. Henry Dempsey Walker a well known minister and the last of the old C.C. Riders of South Mississippi. She has met his father, Carl Russell Bechtol while serving in the U.S. Marine Corps in WW II. He was an Army officer from Bucyrus, Ohio. His ancestry is a strange one, half German, and half Mississippi Choctaw. He once said, on The Today Show, “That is a strange mixture, ain’t it? Every time I get drunk, I want to invade Poland !”



After the war, she tried to live in Ohio and he tried to live in Mississippi, but neither could do so. He divorced her and left her alone and pregnant, her first born, Terryl was three months old when the divorce was final. He never knew or met his father, and said in an interview once, “I never missed having a father, my mother was man enough to raise four boys and a girl on a garment workers salary, with evenings and weekends milking and feeding cows on a dairy farm, and woman enough to see we all succeeded in life.” My Grandfather was the male role model in my life and I could not have had a better one. He was poor, but kind and honest to a fault. When he died, it was the largest crowd I had ever seen, over 2,000 people attended his funeral in Gulfport, Mississippi. He was a “man among men” in every way.” His name Terryl was a mistake on his birth certificate. Winona submitted it as Terry, it came back with an “l” on the end of it, and she liked it and kept it. He was called Terry and later, “ J. Terryl” while growing up all over the Mississippi Gulf Coast.



To say he was born into poverty would be an understatement. His mother raised her family on a pecan plantation owned by a wealthy planter, Mr. Rediac from New Orleans. The rent was $6.00 a month for a sharecroppers shack with three rooms, a fireplace, a pump in the kitchen, an outhouse, no running water and the walls were so crude that they family collected paper and cardboard and soaked it in water every winter to keep out the cold and in the summer punched it all out to allow ventilation. The only warmth was cut firewood and the only cool was the breeze. The family lived in this house for 13 years. He attended Ocean Springs Elementary School until the seventh grade. On his very first day at school, his teacher, Ms. Anderson, was taking up “lunch money” from the students. Lunch was a quarter. When she came to Terryl, she did not stick out her hand, but said, “Son, you don’t have to pay you are poor!” It was the first time he had ever been called that. That night at home he told his mother the story. The next morning, Winona caught the school bus into town with him, went into class with him and called his teacher out into the hallway. There she told her in no uncertain terms, “I never signed up my son for the Welfare Free School Lunch program, I can pay for his meals.” With that she put two quarters into her hand, and said, “My son has never considered himself to be poor and I’m trying to raise my children to understand that “there ain’t no free lunch” and I don’t want you teaching him otherwise!” He learned that day that you get what you work for in this life and there was no dishonor in being poor, the dishonor was in staying that way.









Terryl went to work. His first job was delivering the GRIT newspaper in the Fountainbleau Community, east of Ocean Springs. Every Saturday he delivered the weekly newspaper on a route that took him 26 miles one way! He gave the money to his mother, she paid his tithe at Bell Fountaine Baptist Church, and he grew to a teenager in the piney woods on the shores of Biloxi Bay.



His mother married again and had three sons by another ex-veteran. He was a POW in WWII and came home with TB. After several years in a sanitarium he turned to drink and became violent with his wife. Home life was hell. Violence, drunk binges, the only one working was his mother, and many times his angry temper was taken out on the only child that was not “his”, Terryl. But Terryl grew large for his age and very strong. Coming home one day while in the seventh grade, Terryl, caught his step-dad beating his mother. Already at 5’ 10’’ tall and over 200 pounds, he pulled him off of her and beat him into the local hospital. The man never came back. Alone again with four boys, they moved into Ocean Springs where his mother could be close to her job at E.R. Moore Company, the local sweat factory for sports wear. Until he life home, the Social Welfare System, the State of Missisisppi and others agencies tried to take the children from their mother. She did what she had to do. She married men just to keep the family together, when underemployed, she moved in the middle of the night to avoid them, and she worked hard to keep the family together. She did. One son served and retired from the USMC and the Air Force in Viet Nam, one served in the Army in Korea, one became a successful local businessman, and her daughter married well and raised a great large family. Her oldest son, went on to become President of the United States Jaycees, the President of the Freedom’s Foundation at Valley Forge, America’s Most Patriotic Speaker from the National Speakers Association, traveled the world seeing 56 countries, ran for the US House of Representatives from the First Congressional District in Florida, served in the Reagan White House, has performed for three presidents in the White House and became a regular on the world famous Grand Ole Opry. He is a comedian that has made the world laugh.



Winona, you done good!



He was popular in school. He was smart and always laughing. He was much larger than anyone else in his class and was never a “problem student”, except for a bit of extra talking. His family was “raising him to be a preacher” like his four uncles and his grandfather, so he was “glib”.



At 12 years old he was doing “tent revivals” in the Pentecostals and Baptist communities of Vancleve, Four Mile Creek, Ft. Bayou, and other small rural areas, with his mothers family. But, as he told Charlie Chase of the Crook & Chase Show on TNN television in 1996, “I was raised to be a preacher, but when I got to High School and discovered Jack Daniels and Cheerleaders, I knew that the lord had called me to other things!” Needless to say, the “calling” never took!



He was active in little league, the Boy Scouts, Troop 210 Ocean Springs, and every school play that they would let him be in. Terryl Bechtol was a model student that was remembered well by almost every teacher interviewed in the Ocean Springs School System.



Entering the eighth grade his mother moved them to the St. Martin Community, north of Ocean Springs. There was a new Jr. High going up and she wanted them to have the best school. One day at football practice, his coach told him “Son, you are going to hurt one of these players, go over to the high school and tell the coach there to try you out at running back.” He did and began to play Varsity Football on the very first football team St. Martin High fielded, at 14 years old! He weighed 220 pounds and could outrun everyone on the team. He scored the very first touchdown in that schools history in their third game. It was to be a sign of things to come.



In his ninth grade year, his mother was hired by another garment plant in Pass Christian, Miss. They moved to west Gulfport and Terryl began West Side Jr. High. During the football season, he scored 21 touchdowns and was third in his class grades. It was the first time he began to feel “popularity”. He liked it!



Going into High School, they moved the final time to Long Beach, to be even closer to the Pass Christian plant. In a house on Pineville road, again with no indoor plumbing, running water or heating or cooling, he rode the bus to school, and worked at the local gas station in Long Beach every afternoon and weekends. At Long Beach High, he met his great coach, Mr. Paul Magee. Coach Magee took his new “star” to the #1 running back in the conference as a sophomore! He was voted “Silliest Sophomore”. The class clown had fully matured by this time and he was laughing all the way. He also played baseball, was in the Drama Club, and ran the anchor leg on the 4x4 relay on the track team. He put the shot, broad jumped and did all field events as well.



His grades began to suffer as he discovered “girls and guns”. He liked to hunt squirrels, rabbits, and small game in the nearby woods and was very popular with the ladies. A very handsome young man, he was in all three Prom Courts while at Long Beach High School. While still a good student, he again was voted “Jolliest Junior” his junior year. His senior year was spent cutting class and sneaking off to the beach with college students from Gulf Park Girls School and by his own admission, “I was lucky to graduate!” I worked hard, had plenty of money on me, was popular and lived in a resort town. Life was great, why go to school!”



His senior year saw a very serious injury to his right knee. It cut short all the major college offers that were coming in from Notre Dame, Ole’ Miss, the National Champions that year in the NCAA, and all the other Division One colleges. Upon graduation in 1963, he headed for the only school that would take him…. little Perkinston Jr. College. Up the road on Highway 49, just 45 miles away. However, he would change his life forever there.



He arrived at Perk on a Trailways bus, with everything he owned in a brown A&P grocery bag, walked up the hill to the school and thought he had arrived in Paradise. At Perkinston, he lived in the first home he had ever lived in with indoor plumbing. Jackson Hall was the Athletic Dorm and he arrived before everyone else by several days. George Sekul was the Dorm Proctor and Terryl settled in for his college experience.



He never reached his potential as a football player. He was moved from fullback to guard and hated it. “I never had the mindset of a lineman, but my speed was gone because of the knee injury and I had to accept it!” He loved defense and even set the record for “most fumbles recovered” in his freshman year. He never went home for the Christmas Holidays, he stayed on campus, it was the best home he had ever had. He was again popular on campus, and began to get involved politically. “In my first year of college, John Kennedy was asasinaited. I didn’t like John Kennedy, I was one of the seven Republicans in Harrison County and registered to vote on my 18th birthday.” He excelled on the Debate Team and joined Phi Beta Lambda, the business fraternity. He excelled in all extra curricular activities again with average grades. He began to be a rabid reader, and Ms. Alexander; his Social Studies teacher introduced him to Ayn Rand and Atlas Shrugged. It was like pouring gasoline on a fire. He began to go to political meetings, get involved in local political campaigns, and became known as a “tireless volunteer” in any political campaign that would have him.



“The most important thing that happened to me at Perk, was getting injured again in Football. I tore up my left knee this time and it just ended it all!” For the first time in my young life, I had to look elsewhere other than athletics to make my mark” He went to work in the cafeteria while still in a full leg case.” I washed dishes and bussed tables. I had to serve the same players I had been playing with and it was hard”. It was a real step down for a football player, but he had to do so to finish his education and graduate on time, which he did.



The second thing that happened to me was I met my wife there. “ Sally Carter was a class beauty for two years at Wiggins High School and I though she was the most beautiful woman god had ever sent down to earth. I chased her for a year before she gave me a date.” Both of her parents were doctors. “ They taught me how “the other side of the tracks lived!” They were wonderful people; I married their daughter in June 1966 in Wiggins First Baptist Church and lived happily with her for 20 years. We had two children, Terryl, Jr. and Robert Clayton Carter Bechtol. No man ever loved a woman more. We divorced in 1986.” “I never would have discovered my path in life or met the mother of my sons, had I not gone to Perk, it was all so very well worth it”…..



After Perk, he went to work for Beneficial Finance in Gulfport. He was one of the most successful financial managers the company had ever had.

He was the “Outstanding Manager” of 1800 offices nationwide, twice and learned money. He resigned when the company refused to promote such a young man into supervision. It would be the last “job” he would ever have. He went into business for himself and never looked back. Terryl left the Mississippi Gulf Coast in 1969 two months after Hurricane Camille hit. He lost everything he had in that killer hurricane and left to fine a new home that would not take so long to re- build. He had a one-year-old child and a new future. He found what he was looking for in Pensacola, Florida.



Just before leaving the Gulf Coast while managing the Biloxi office of Beneficial Finance, he joined the Ocean Springs Jaycees. His boyhood friend from Long Beach, Vernon Reinike took him to his first meeting and signed him up that night. “ It as the custom there to make the biggest and ugliest man the official weigh master at the Ocean Springs Fishing Rodeo, I qualified on both counts!” he said. When I moved to Pensacola and joined the Escambia Bay Jaycees, it would be the single most important happening in his professional career.



Joining the Jaycees would change his life forever. He joined the local chapter and got busy in their many community projects. He enjoyed the oratorical splendor in their speaking contests, got known in the community, was in several political campaigns and learned well in the Jaycee Leadership Chamber programs. He went from Local Chapter President to the President of the Florida Jaycees in eleven years. Florida was one of the largest Jaycee states in the nation, a powerful political force of young men in the state and he was their leader.



He led the Florida Jaycees to their highest membership ever and the next year was elected as a National Vice President of the U.S. Junior Chamber of Commerce. This would begin his extensive travels in the United States. For the next three years he traveled the country giving motivational speeches and meeting people. In 1980 at the National Convention in Nashville, TN., J. Terryl Bechtol was elected the 6oth President of the U.S. Jaycees. He moved his family to Tulsa, Ok and began his year as President. He served as Chairman of the Board and would have been elected World President, but then candidate Ronald Reagan changed that with a phone call.



The week the Bechtol family returned to Pensacola after serving his term as National President of the Jaycees, Terryl received a phone call from Candidate for President Ronald Reagan.

Terryl was invited to become a part of the Reagan for President campaign team. With no reservations he went to Washington D.C., became employed by the Republican National Committee and became executive director for Campaign 80, for Reagan. Upon the election of the president, Terryl served a short stint as a member of the president speech writing team and then returned home to run his own campaign for the House of Representatives for the first district of Florida. Republicans were a vast minority in this district, but he won the primary only to lose the general election. He ran well enough to run again, but his life took a very different turn at this point. His marriage of almost 20 years was ending and the calls for his speaking began to pour in.



Leaving his political career, his business career and his marriage, Terryl began his career as a Professional Speaker. He received the designation of Certified Speaking Professional within a few short years and was soon one of the most requested “after dinner” speakers in the nation. He began as a “sales trainer” and ended up as one of the best-known humorist on the circuit. In 1990, he developed the character “Bubba” and Bubba became the role that would make him the top professional humorist in the National Speakers Association. Bubba was the quint essential God Old Boy, and said things that Terryl Bechtol could not do as a humorist. The Character began to get famous.



During this period he became friends with the late great Lewis Grizzard. When Lewis had to go into the hospital for his third heart surgery, it was “T. Bubba” that he called to fill in for several of his shows. T. Bubba did such a great job that he was noticed by Crook and Chase of The Nashville Network and when they put him on their television show, “Music City Tonight”, T. Bubba became a star! Crook & Chase had him on over 50 times in the next two years and Opryland Production signed T. Bubba to headline a new show they were producing in Dollywood, East Tennessee’s Branson! Terryl took the show and in two short years became the hottest property Opryland Production had. In October 24, 1998, T. Bubba debuted on the Grand Ole Opry, and he has been a regular ever since. In October of 2000 MCA-Nashville, the old record label of the late great Jerry Clower signed T. Bubba to a record deal. He just released his first effort, “I’m Confused” and radio just ate it up.



T. Bubba is on his way to being the biggest comedian in Country Music and who knows where that will all lead to. He has movies in the future and has even had television contact him about doing a Saturday morning cartoon around “Bubba and the Gang”…like the Cosby Kids were.



Whatever he decided to do he will always be trying to help others. He has established scholarship funds at Perkinston, and a trust for unwanted children and works tirelessly in many charities. “I was born poor, but it never bothered me!” “I always knew that I was going to be something and not someone. That something I turned out to be is a comedian, the person I turned out to be us still under construction!!” God’s not thru with me yet, I hope!”



Terryl thanks Perkinston and the Mississippi Gulf Coast College for a “second chance”, and gives them the credit for planting the seed of adventure and the lifelong joy of learning within him.



Finally a quote from a speech delivered to the Joint Session of the Florida Legislature in 1979. “I only have an AA degree from Perkinston Jr. College in Wiggins, Mississippi. I have traveled in over 50 countries, seen the world, and the United States like few men ever will! I have sat with three Presidents and two Kings, to discuss important matters of the day, never felt under educated, nor have I ever felt less than any of them.”

“ I never got anymore formal education, I tried, but it just kept getting in the way of making money, and I knew if I made the money, the rest of what I wanted to do with my life would follow.” I have no regrets with my education after high school, other than one. I wish we had beaten Pearl River while I was there, it took a few more years and I would change that, nothing more!!”





Written by

Larry C. Lee

Journalist

July 2002

A Bubba Christmas





I didn't get to go shopping on Black Friday. That's the day that most businesses move "into the black" for the year, because it is the biggest business shopping day of the year. The day after Thanksgiving is when Christmas is officially to begin. That is followed up by Cyber Monday, the biggest shopping day on the internet. I finally got to go shopping this last weekend.

Where are all the sales?

It is like we have one big weekend and then everything is back to normal prices. What about a Bubba Week, so all the folks that have to work on these "special" days can get some savings as well? What is up with that? Why are we discriminated against? Why are the prices all back to normal? Why can't my Christmas shopping dollar be stretched as far as those people that went to get their savings on things they wanted at 4 a.m. in every mall in the area. I'm upset about this!

I have to get up at 3 a.m. to be on the radio on News Radio 1620 AM at five o'clock every day Monday through Friday. I didn't get to go shopping at 4 am, like a lot of people that get up early or work the midnight shift and the lines were a mile long everywhere the rest of the day. Ain't we special as well? Don't we get to pay one tenth of the price like other folks that can shop in the early morning and day light hours? Hey, Mr. Business man, what about me?

I didn't find one single thing on sale in five malls and three feed stores. NOTHING! I got so mad I went home and went to sleep. I'm going to send all of my friends and family letters today that say that they will be receiving their Christmas presents late, like the week after Christmas day. That way, I can shop at all the after Christmas sales and get some bargains for my money. I'm sorry I have to do this, but it just ain't fair. I mean, you got a three-day window to spend you hard earned money in, or you lose your shirt!

I know that giving is more important that receiving, but that's the point … I want to GIVE more and I'm not allowed to! I only have so much money, and now I have to wait until after Christmas to spend it. I'm going to lobby for the week after Christmas and New Years Day, to be the After Christmas Tween (as in between) Week. So we'll have a week to give away presents and celebrate the real meaning of the Christmas season on Christmas day. That would be, the birth of Jesus in case some of you forgot about that in your shopping frenzy!

Yep, that's the ticket, celebrate the real meaning of Christmas on that special birthday, and shop the day after and give away gifts to all those I love all during the Tween Week. Then celebrate the New Year on the last day of the week, and go to work hung-over the next day. Sounds like fun to me. Who do I see about establishing this holiday?

My, my, that would never work, it makes way to much sense.

Just thought you'd like to know…

Merry Christmas to all my fans and friends...If Merry Christmas offends you....YOU have a problem, not me!

Merry Christmas,
T. Bubba Bechtol

Hey Y'all,

It's me Bubba. Just to let you know, men and Lishous are starting an all news talk radio show here at home in Pensacola this week. It's 1620 AM on your radio dial and we gonna have some fun Yeah! So, tune in if we reach your area and enjoy this new adventure with me and my wife. Old Rolex won't be on the show, because dogs are not allowed on the radio, but I'm trying to get that changed!

Thanks for keeping up with your old Uncle Bubba!

Hey Y'all,

I'm not performing any stand up comedy for the rest of this year. My book, "Who's Your Bubba?" is coming out Aug. 1, 2007. I will be touring at book signings and trying to get into the next phase of my life as a writer. I'm not giving up comedy, but I want to write and this book is really getting a "buzz" going. So look for me near you with a book signing and come out and see me.

I'll be doing the Grand Ole Opry several times, and doing some celebrity events, but I have given up performing for now. You can check me out with the book at www.TBubbaFun.com.

Thanks,
T. Bubba

This morning at 8:44 AM the day before Father's Day is the day we never want to come. My mother was dead.

I don't care how long the "goodbye" is, you are never ready for your mother to die.

My sister Dixie, her caretaker and friend for the last six hard fought years called me and said, "She finally quit fighting just a few moments ago." She was an incredible woman. Born in 1924 to a family of five brothers and two sisters, half Native American and Irish. At 83 years, she outlived them all. She was the last Walker of the line. She served in WW II in the United States Marines, long before it was fashionable for women to be in the military service, She met my father at Ft. Benning while on TDY, married him, got pregnant, left the Marines, he left her, then she came home and raised her family. I never had a father, not even a bad one. I never needed one, she was man enough! I knew what Semper Fi meant before I could talk. I could sing the Marine Corp hymn before "Happy Birthday."

She raised four boys and a daughter by herself. Oh, she married five times but never found a man that could live the life she expected of them. None of them stayed around more than a few years at a time. She married two of them just to keep the Welfare Department from taking us away to be wards of the state. She kept us together the only way she knew how. She fought for us every day of her life. She spent years working on a dairy farm, in a garment factory, taking in ironing, and I never remember her having just one job. We were dirt poor and we never knew it. We raised all the vegetables we ate and shot the meat we had. I was raised in a sharecroppers shack on a pecan plantation in Fontainebleau, Mississippi until I was in the eighth grade and we moved "into town" further west on the Mississippi Gulf Coast.
In the winter we collected all the newspaper, cardboard boxes and any type of paper we could, soaked them down and stuffed them into the cracks of the house to keep the freezing cold out. In the summer we poked it all out to let in what breeze there was. The house had three rooms, a living room one bedroom and a kitchen with a hand pump in the sink for our water. We paid six dollars a month rent and I remember many time Mr. Ridiack coming to collect and we were three months behind. It was a hard life, but she make it fun for us all. She took endless photos of us and as I watched her beauty fade into heavy lines of age, I marveled at how she never tired of working to keep us together.

I left home when I was a junior at Long Beach High School. I lived with other people, finished High School, got a college scholarship to play football, went to college, married and had my own children.

She was a hard woman, not even her own sons could live up to her expectations, and we all left her home in our mid teens. She was so busy keeping us in school, clothes and meals; she never had time for herself. Today it is amazing to me how she lived her life totally for her children. Never once did I ever remember her doing anything for herself, nothing. Not ever a new dress, an ice cream cone just for her or a day to herself. Born into a religious family, she was a PK, preacher's kid. She saw to it that we never missed a Sunday in Belle Fonatine Baptist Church, or even a Wednesday night prayer meeting. She did not always go herself, but she made sure we were there.
She could out cuss a sailor, but never drank and despised the people that did. She would smoke every now and then, but I never remember her ever buying a pack of cigarettes. She was a strong disciplinarian. She never spared the rod, or even a pecan tree limb if we deserved it. Today what she did to us when we were bad would be considered child abuse. Yet every one of her children grew to adulthood and became fine people, with manners and social graces. We knew the difference between right and wrong and learned that hard work is an honorable life.

Like so many women of her day she made her contribution to society through her children. She mothered another US Marine that served four tours in Viet Nam, was wounded, came here to Pensacola to recover from his wounds, joined the Air Force and went back into that horrible war. Years later I learned that the reason he went back so many times, was so that his brothers, all draft eligible, would never have to go into a war zone. He did it because she asked him to, and he was his mother's son. Another son joined the US Army, went to Korea, both of them served their country well. Another son became a wealthy businessman in his own hometown and the eldest was a border line fool! Her daughter married a fine man, had a large family and made her mother proud. In the end they became fast friends as daughters and mothers should. As for me, I cross the border every chance I get. She lived to see me as a regular performer on the World Famous Grand Ole Opry and three days before she died my sister sat beside her bed and read my first book "Who's Your Bubba" to her aloud and they laughed together. She was the mother of a President of the United States Jaycees, a President of The National Freedom's Foundation at Valley Forge, a President of the Alabama Professional Speakers Assn., two decorated military men, two successful businessman, athletes, politicians, college graduates, seventeen grandchildren and thirty -three great grandchildren!

Her kind is gone, never to be seen again. I will now call my two sons and tell them that Grandma "B" is gone. They both visited her often and kept in touch in the last few years. They know what "tough" is and I don't think they learned it from me. We will lay her in the ground and sing her favorite hymns, but we will never forget her indomitable spirit. America is a better country because of her, she was one of our "Greatest Generation", but more importantly she was my mother. After you read this, if you can, call your momma.

I sure wish could call mine.

Just thought you'd like to know.....

FIRST DAY



Many years ago my son left his home for his first day of school. He is a fine grown man now, but on that day I sent a note to his teacher. It has been published many times over the years, now I want to share it with you.



My son begins school today. It is his first day away from his mother and father in all of his life. Up to now he has been “king of the cul-de-sac”, lord of the adjacent empty lot, and conquered the entire “wild west” in our backyard. He is a fine young lad. He is strong, knows right from wrong, but is sensitive to those things that he is not familiar to. He is in your hands now. You will spend more time with him five days a week than I will. You will have the chance to shape his life in ways that I can not any longer. He is the future of our lives together. I have done the best I can up to now. I love him more than I can write here, words fail the limits of my love, He now belongs to the world, and it begins with you.



So, teach him.



Teach him that life is not fair, but will be what he makes of it. Teach him that for every cooked politician there is a statesman. Teach him that there are many ways to look at any question that could shape his life forever. Teach him to think, but let his morals and convictions make the decision. Teach him that for every wrong there is a right and how to find it. Teach how to love the joy of a sunset, the beauty of the dawn, the buzz of a bumblebee, that angles and areas are important, where the world is located, why the universe is unlimited, and how to play well with others. Teach him to never stop learning. Teach him not to hit, hate or ever hunger for knowledge that is at his fingertips. Teach him to love all those that will let him love them. Teach him that for every bigot in the world there is a Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., for every killer, there is a savior, and for every bad teacher there is a great one, and how to know the difference. I know that there is nothing in the world good enough for a truly great teacher and there is also nothing in the world bad enough for a bad one, but he does not. He will accept you with open arms, for he has been taught thus far to trust until given a reason not to. You be the same way with him.



I will be here for you if you need me. I know that it takes both of us. Together we can build a fine young man, with this small child that God has given us both. I promise to not ever put you to “blame” if you promise me that you will never teach him things you know are wrong, just because it is in the curriculum... Teach him, coach him, and mold him into something that we can both be proud of. I will do my part, but it is mostly up to you now, for he will learn, love and live what you teach him from here on out. So, here he is, scrubbed, ready, eager, willing and trusting. Be kind to him, for he is such a wonderful little boy.



So long son, whatever happens from here is up to more than your mother and me. It is up to you and your the teachers you find for the rest of your life. I love you so.



DADDY

Well, I been on tour and when I get home from weeks on the road, I have a strange habit. ‘Lishous saves all the newspapers from the three towns I love, Nashville, Gulf Breeze and Pensacola and I read them all at once. Often it is like a book with no ending. I then make a big fire with them all and watch my stress fly away with the ashes. It works for me, so don’t laugh!!



After this stress relief technique I then have a lot of “news I can’t use’. So, I have to remind you of those bits that hit me the oddest and comment on them. It also helps when there is a “slow news day” on the Island Santa Rosa. Which is every day to be exact.



Hillary said the other day that when she is elected President she would appoint her sometimes husband Bill, as “a world wide ambassador at large”. Bill was said to have smiled widely. Yep, he had the country to run wild in while he was president, now he will have the world and she won’t be allowed to tag along. Talk about throwing the rabbit into the briar patch! Why, I can’t see anything going wrong with that, can you? Maybe he could get his “morality advisor” he had in the White House with him, Jesse Jackson to tag along with him. I don’t think the world is ready for that kind of “good will”!!



And last week President Bush met with the president of Peru. When the Peruvian president invited Bush to visit Machu Picchu, Bush said, 'Great, I love to play hide and seek! While that wasn’t the exact right thing to say, Dub Ya, at least let him know that he was trying! The President has never let understanding get in the way of his answers. He’s a Bubba for sure!



And while we are on the White House, presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich (rhymes with spinach) has introduced a bill to impeach Vice President Dick “Sure Shot” Cheney. That is not a good idea, because then George Bush would then become the acting president. Mr. Kucinich also said, he wanted “world peace” in his lifetime. He also thinks that Peter Pan is a big white pot that old people put at the end of their beds for night time emergencies.



Presidential candidate, Wiz Kid Obama “Yo’Momma,” had another Hollywood fundraiser, and collected enough money to elect Steven Spielberg President of Israel. It’s part of his “no cash left behind” campaign! He said, “I’ll never leave a single dollar behind, when elected!” Somehow I believe that.



Finally Sheryl “Legs” Crow was at the dinner to raise awareness of global warming, and she has an interesting plan. Sheryl Crow is encouraging people to only use one square of toilet paper when they go to the bathroom. Wow, what a concept. I bet she has never been in line at Barnhill’s Buffet and seen the size of those read ends. Let me tell you, one square won’t even get you started on those projects. Sheryl is going to have trouble getting anyone in the nation to ever shake hands with her again. I know I’m going to avoid it, but if she wants to dance with me I’m taking a pair of gloves with me, just in case. I’m telling you Bubba, if all the liberal women looked like her, I’d consider changing parties! But, that one square thing ain’t gonna ever work Babe!



On the home front the SRIA and the County can’t decide whether to build condos or owner owed hotels on the island. Big deal, a duck is a duck and either one will destroy the very thing people come to see on our island, the BEACH. THE BEACH dummies, THE BEACH! I’m yelling here, can you hear me THE BEEEECH!

Why can’t everyone understand “If we DON’T build it, they will come”. How many Destin, Panama City and Perdido Keys examples do we need to learn? They come to see the beach, NOT the buildings. Why must we destroy it? Is there not one politician in the bunch that will stand up and vote not to deny access to the beach with building of any type? If one ever does, he could ride it all the way to the Governor’s Mansion!!



Well, that all the “news you can’t use”….Just thought you’d like to know

On a recent radio "phoner" Bubba was asked what was the secret to his amazing career, as a speaker, comedian, and author. He said, "I'm always sincere whether I mean it or not!" Yep, that's Bubba!

'Lishous

The Zoo

I like the zoo. We got a nice one here in Gulf Breeze. While people might think that the only thing we have in a zoo on the Redneck Rivera would be an irate Vermonter, a possum and a cow, we got other things to!! The zoo is one of the favorite places for me and Lishous to go and kill time. My uncle Forrest, from up Nawth, was in the woods in Navarre a few weeks ago and saw one of the peacocks that escaped during hurricane Ivan. He told me he thought that the “quail” down here were very large, indeed. It was just wondering around the woods, happy and content. But, most of the animals are back in their cages and looking at us, just waiting for another hurricane and a chance to visit beautiful downtown Mid-Way.

I thought what it would look like if you were in a really bad zoo, one that was a tourist trap, not a quality zoo like ours. I have seen some bad ones in my travels. I was at a zoo once where the stripes began to peal off the Zebras due to the heat. I am never comfortable at the zoo. I always feel like the monkeys are making fun of me when I’m not looking. I know they make fun of ‘Lishous, cause I feed them extra when they do. We got a hippo here that can stand still and chew his cud for over three days. We used to have a cow like that back in Fontaineblue, Ms. I would throw rocks at it just to see if it had died standing up.

I like the snake exhibit as well. They remind me of my first wife. She used to lie in the sun and bask, slither away when I approached her and could swallow an entire bottle of Vodka at one time. While it was still in the bottle!! The alligator is sad looking, but then if you are the mascot of the University of Florida, life has dealt you a rough life. Go “Noles.

The giraffe is cool as well. I have never seen a longer tongue on any living creature. If I had a tongue like that I could kiss ‘Lishous from across the room. I could eat a gallon of ice cream in one lick! I could lick my self anywhere I wanted to. I’m convinced that the only reason animals are more content than humans is because they can lick themselves all over. If humans could do that, I’m certain it would put an end to violent crime in 30 days.

So, go to the zoo. The weather is perfect for it and they are back in business full time with all repairs. Tell them T. Bubba sent you and you will get a free smile!!

Just thought you’d like to know…..

I thank God for my imagination. Without imagination or the time to dream we lose the wonderful surprises that make our lives worth living. Dreams are nothing more than seeing a life as we want it to be.

Uncle Bubba

I like bumper stickers! My old Jeep was held together by bumper stickers, and when Hurricane Ivan took it, the bumper stickers were on the driveway plastered to the pavement. They last forever and can say a message in a single sentence. It is brevity at it's best.
However some of the women in this area are getting very bold with them. I don't know what is driving this, but even 'Lishous has one on her pick up truck that says "Bubba's Wife". I get the funniest looks when I drive that truck! After the last man that giggled and waved for me to pull over, I don't drive it anymore.
I saw one last week that said, "All men are animals, some just make better pets".Well, that may be true, but do you have to wear it on your car? As comedian Tim Allen said, "Yes, all men are pigs" After every woman in the room is on her feet waving their arms over their heads yelling "Yes"... he then says, "Yeah, it's just to bad that we have all the money!" Most of the one's standing up yelling Whoooo Hooo, just look so stupid at that point. Attaboy Tim, get back at'em!!
In Gulf Breeze I saw one that said, "Women don't admit their age, and Men don't act theirs". Hummm, me and 'Lishous are a whole generation apart in age, but we get along because she is a mature thinking young lady and I'm a big kid that never grew up, so there are advantages to not acting your age. Thank you very much!! Man I even found a way to make tons of money not acting my age.
And one on the back of a 1969 VW Bus, said, "Grow your own dope, plant a man!" I'm thinking she had been smoking them left handed Luckies way to long. I called her license number to the local police and told them that the van was smoking way to much to be on the highway, and it wasn't coming out of the tail pipe! They stopped them down the road, and I laughed my butt off as I drove by!

I saw one in California last week that said, " All men are idiots....I married their king". Well, in California where it is very hard to tell the men from the women, it IS easier to tell the idiots from the IGMO's. But, any woman that would marry an idiot has no one to blame but herself. We don't arrange marriages in this country, not even California. But, it could happen with this Same Sex marriage thing that three states have now adopted. I don't understand it anyway, I mean, "if you are married, the sex is always the same sex, isn't it?"
The final bumper sticker is an old one. I had it on my Jeep for years. It hit back at the NOW gang and others that wanted this equality thing for all the wrong reasons. It said simply "Any woman that seeks to be equal to a man, lack's ambition!" To this is say Amen. You go girl, be smarter than anyone you know, not just the men. After all, that is the way Bubba thinks!

Just thought you'd like to know.....

Hawaii Again

Last week due to some bad computer glitch in a hotel business center, only about one third of my article went to the GBN headquarters. I was in Hawaii and things are a bit different out there. Me and ' Lishous went to see some of my friends. It has been ten years since I was last in the islands, and it was her first time. Other than her trying to direct me all over the islands with a map that she could not read a single street name on, and eating some things that did not have a name we recognized, it was a fun trip. Lishous likes to act like she ain't never impressed with anything. You know, the type, acting "cool" all the time, but this time I got her. She loved the beauty of the place, the volcano, the birds, the flowers everywhere, Diamond Head in the morning, the mountains, a sunset that would have made a Russian General cry, and the sea like she has never seen. But, most of all she liked my friends, and they loved her right back.

Hawaii is a very different state. It is the only state that was ever a Kingdom. We went to the cliff where the warrior king united the islands into one kingdom. He did it by marching those that did not want to unite under his government, they later became Democrats, over that cliff until they "caught on". It only took about a thousand of them to go flying into the air only to bounce hundreds of feet below, before one of the outer islands Bubba's said, "Hey, this united thing could be OK!" Smart folks, those original Hawaiians! It is also the only state that has an active volcano in it. We went there saw the hot rocks pouring into the ocean. It was hot. Very hot, why it was hotter than Santa Rosa Island in August even. We went to Kauai and saw where Elvis filmed Blue Hawaii, and Humphrey Bogart filmed the African Queen. The only difference was one was in black and white and one was in color. They still worship Elvis out there, and that makes them my friend. We saw the island in Jurassic Park and I knew it was the same island, because of one tree that was crooked on the top. We got a history lesson as well, I did not know that New Zealand was part of Polynesia, but I did know that they ate people and I wonder how the natives there would have reacted to that "march off the cliff" thing. I bet they would have had a big meal first. It is also the only state where white people like me are a minority. After a few days that kind of of got to me. It was hard to find anyone that said things like, "Big Old Truck", "Attaboy Bubba", "Yep, I heard dat", and "Huh?" I also never heard anyone say one single time, "Hey, you are in America, speak English!", why they spoke Philippine, Japanese, Chinese, Hawaiian, Samoian, Indian, ( the kind with the dot on their foreheads), and two or three languages on the outer islands that we never figured out, long before any of them honored us with English. You know what? It never bothered me one time, it just seemed to fit right into who and what they are, and I have never been offended by it. It is just different out there. The difference is, they were speaking that way long before we came to them. They learned English, if only 12 letters of it in their entire alphabet, and fought in our wars, honored our dead buried there beside their own sons and daughters that fought for America long before it was a state . They lie side by side in the National Cemetery of the Pacific, and that is how they became Americans. They didn't come to us! We needed them to protect the entire West Coast of the Untied States and they obliged. In return we made them a part of America, and I for one have always been glad that we did, ..... they flat earned it.

The Mormons own most of the land in the Islands. Yes, the Mormons. A friend of mine told me that the "Mormons came there as missionaries long ago to "do well" and they did "VERY WELL!" Lots of missionaries went there to help them become Christians and "civilized", but the Mormons were the only ones to buy and some say "take" the land. Now what kind of missionary ends up owning the land! Sounds strange to me, but now I understand how Brigham Young University gets all the big old football line men with all those Hawaiian last names! There ain't no more pineapples, no sugar cane, and a shack on the side of the road is over $300,000 dollars, most homes are over a million, and you wouldn't live in any of those. The houses cost so much they don't even advertise them in the Sunday Classified in the newspapers. However,
one thing has not changed. It is still a true paradise, the people are the friendliest, and they love to feed you. Everyone's home is wide open for company at any time and they love being Americans. Hawaii, is a true melting pot, that we like to think we can create here on the "mainland". They have every race of people in the world there, they have all income groups in every crowd you see, they speak at least four languages everywhere you go, they all have different customs, religions and eat different foods, BUT they all get along, love each other and respect you for whatever you are FIRST. You can mess that up with them, but they give you the benefit of the doubt FIRST. Why, have you ever heard of a race riot in Hawaii? NO, and I bet you never will, they just don't think like that. They work hard, play hard and deserve to the "the most southern state" in the nation, as they are truly "Southern" in almost every way! I just wish we could learn that "race" thing from them and put it into play here. Yes, I love my friends in Hawaii and I have always loved Hawaii's people. ..
after all that is the real reason it is a paradise. Now 'Lishous does to. Life is good at Bubba's house.

Just thought you'd like to know....

A little tribute to a man who made a difference: BOB HOPE

May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003

ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill."

ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing."

ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

ON TURNING 100 "I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING "I ruined my hands in the ring ... the referee kept stepping on them."

ON SAILORS "They spend the first six days of each week sowing their wild oats, then they go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure."

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR "Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'."

ON GOLF "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees."

ON PRESIDENTS "I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six."

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have an eight-pound ham.'"

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL "I feel veryhumble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom."

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES " I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."

ON GOING TO HEAVEN "I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

A young man walked into a Vermont insurance office one day to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. When he was asked by the insurance agent, "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"

This redneck got that look on his face that my dog has when I show him a card trick, then he answered...."I've got a kickstand, is that the same thing?"

He won the IOTY (IGMO OF THE YEAR) award for 2007, in the entire state of Vermont.